UNCLE SACK

I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the way our kids got a little confused. I don’t know where they got such a silly idea but the little rugrats seem to think the stuff they own... will make them happy.

We love our young ones and we want them to feel good, but it can get expensive buyin’ them all the things they decide will do the job. A parent starts to feel as though the fact that their child is missin’ three components of a seventy-three piece action figure set really is a tragedy.

“Johnny’s little friend Billy has Gorespewer, the Ninja Whirling Dervish Dynamo, who destroys his enemies by soaking them in poisonous blood...” we worry. “Perhaps Billy’s parents love him more than we love little Johnny.”

This kind of parental guilt, actively stoked by the television and our own offspring, is enough to send most of us staggerin’ through the endless corridors of Toys R Us quakin’ with fear, oblivious to our towerin’ credit card balances.Then, two months after Christmas, most of it’s broken or lost and junior’s back outside playin’ basketball with his buddies.

Those silly kids. Where do you suppose they got the idea things would make them happy? Maybe it’s all the adult toys like cars, computers and software, cellular phones, electronics, boats, designer clothes, and jewelry that we chase ourselves.

Now, economists tell us all this consumption is good for the economy. Toys make us happy for a little while, so what’s the old codger’s problem with the system?

One problem is that the kind of joy that such toys give you is mighty short-lived.

Another problem is that the things you own...own you right back.

Let me fill you in on how it all started.

Just like other animals, a cave man would fight to protect his turf. “Ownership” of a cave or a huntin’ territory was important, but there was a time when primitive man didn’t understand how you could “own” somethin’ like a stick or a rock. After all, such an object could be moved around from place to place. It could easily be in Fred Flintstone’s territory one day and in Barney Rubble's the next. Here’s what happened.

Back at the dawn of ownership, Fred and Barney were out hunting. Fred had an idea and picked up a big stick. He knocked some poor animal in the head with it and fetched some dinner. Barney saw his buddy’s slick new maneuver and went over to get the stick so he could wallop some vittles of his own. Since he had his dinner, Fred the innovator gave up the stick to his neighbor. After all, he didn’t need it any more.

This went on for a while until one day, Fred wanted to go hunting and found his buddy, Barney, using the handy stick. Cave men being notoriously short on patience, this fact began to bother ol’ Fred. Suddenly, grizzled Einstein that he was, a startlin’ new concept occurred to him. He wrinkled his sloped brow and realized that he should have the stick back because he had found it first. Therefore, it “belonged” to him. It was “his.”

He promptly grabbed the stick and brained ol’ Barney with it. Thus began the ownership of toys.

If you’re a creationist and don’t believe in cave men, then check out the story of Cain and Abel...same deal.

These historic events were also the dawn of many other great human institutions like war, slavery, title companies and one-hundred and twenty dollar tennis shoes.

Yabba Dabba Doo.

Now the Bible says that a wise man stores up his treasures in heaven by good works, not here on earth where thieves can steal them and elements can rust them.

Ol’ Ralph Wally Emerson put it another way. He said, “If a man owns land, the land owns him.”

Mother Teresa noted the same situation when she said “Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.”

The wise and spiritual folks have been tellin’ us this sort of thing for thousands of years but we just can’t seem to get the message. The best things in life may be free but most of us are willing to settle for second best if it includes a fat bank account and a BMW.

I was like this myself for my first hundred years or so but after I made and lost a fortune or two, I got bored with it. There’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ rich. It makes some things easier and some things harder. I never have believed that money was evil. It’s just a tool, a symbol we cooked up so we don’t have to barter.

Some things we all do together, like sending a man to the moon, would be a bit cumbersome if all the transactions had to be trades. “Let’s see, I’ll give you 500,000 chickens for one Atlas C booster...”

Money has its uses, but one thing it can’t guarantee is happiness. The world is full of miserable people with lots of money and lots of toys.

So when your kid tries to tell you that his psyche will be permanently scarred unless he gets the latest Nintendo or a four-wheeler for Christmas, don’t be fooled. Deep down what he really wants is a hug. What he really wants is to know that you love him no matter what he does.

Your little girl really wants to know that you think she is important and beautiful.

Your wife really wants to know that you still think she’s pretty and sexy and that you appreciate her for who she is and what she does. Your husband wants to know that you still trust him and will back him up in a tough situation and that you’ll make him feel important when he is down.

Your friends want to know they can count on you. Your parents want to be told they did a good job raising you. They want to be forgiven any mistakes they made. They want to know that you know that they love you absolutely.

We all just want to be loved.

So this Christmas, give the old checkbook a break and spend a little time with your kids. Do something nice for your spouse. Tell a friend how much you care. Wave at a stranger.

And when you’re shopping for toys for your friends and family, don’t forget the one present money can’t buy.

Love... the greatest gift of all.