ANTIQUES MADNESS!
EMMA LEE TURNEY
A chat with the founder of the Round Top Antiques Fair.
JAMES DICK
Meet the visionary founder of the International Festival-Institute at Round Top.
DICK DE GUERIN
Shooting crows with one of Texas' top criminal defense attorneys.
THE KINGS OF ICE CREAM
The Kruse brothers. The men behind Blue Bell Ice Cream.
GIRLS OF ROUND TOP
Check out our cheesecake! Oogle our bathing beauties!
200 YEAR OLD COLUMNIST
Uncle Sack came to Texas during the revolution and never got around to dying. He's wise.
KINKY FRIEDMAN FOR GOVERNOR!
The Register endorses Kinky for Governor! Given our choices, why the Hell not?.
TOWN ALDERMAN HELD POLITICAL PRISONER!
Politician confesses to high crimes, including being a politician.
INTERVIEW WITH BIG FOOT
Our editor sits down with the big fellow and chews the fat.
ONE MAN TOWN
Sandy, Texas...one man town tries to steal Round Top's smallness crown. (5-part series)
MUSH FOR BRAINS
Trapped on a dogsled to Hell!
SANTA CLAUS VS. GODZILLA
Fighting it out for the spirit of Christmas!
DIET PLAN OF THE STARS
Eat anything! Eat all you want! Revolutionary new diet plans ends worry about obesity!
REGISTER EXPOSES MEDIA CONSPIRACY TO SUPPRESS GOOD NEWS!
Plot bared! Network TV, major newspapers all exposed!
A CRY IN THE WILDERNESS
The Register begin distributing in Canada...as kindling.
STARDUSTING
Sensible household astrology from Madamn Biola.
ANTIQUELOPE MIGRATION APPROACHES ROUND TOP!
Area braces for thundering herd.
THE DUMPMAN COMETH
Harold Bergmann, maestro of the county dump, saves the planet!
EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ROUND TOP SHOWS BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK!

Antique & Craft Central - Okay, you heard about Round Top on TV or maybe in a newspaper or magazine. Considering Round Top’s glut of high profile public relations over the last year, it’s likely that’s how you heard about this little town of 81.

After all, Emma Lee Turney’s Round Top Antiques Fair, the Festival-Institute at Round Top, its music and herb gardens, and even this little newspaper have been the subjects of a lot of media attention... or maybe a friend had visited before and was raving about the “Round Top show” and you just had to come see what all the fuss was about. It sounded kind of relaxing to do a little antiques and crafts shopping in a tiny little town lost in the Texas countryside.

You called several weeks ahead and tried to get a room. Everyone was much too nice to laugh, but even so, you found that all the inns were full.

Dreaming of Our True Home

Editor and Family to Become Internet Millionaires?

Something very exciting is happening in my life. It's called ourtruehome.com.
Since I have the habit of sharing my personal circumstances with my long-suffering readers, I have decided it is time to tell you the story of a project I have been working on for years that will soon become very public.

Okay, that was a minor setback. You swore to do better in the Spring.

Then, that fateful day arrived when you drove up to Round Top. As you turned onto Hwy 237 from Hwy 71, you noticed the traffic was getting a little stiff but you didn’t let that bother you either. 

You’re a professional shopper. You’re a lean, mean buying machine and you carry cash. 

Nothing can stop you... except Warrenton.

Suddenly, the horizon is filled with tents and tables covered with every implement of household decoration known to man. People are rushing around like human piranhas in a feeding frenzy. The traffic is at a standstill. 

You’re lost...bewildered... distraught. What can you do? What can you do?

It’s simple. Just open the world famous Round Top Register. Oh...yeah, you already did that. 

(Story continued inside)


It is a story about a family who works together, and an intellectual quest that began well over fifteen years ago that will soon come to fruition. 

Hopefully it will be a rags to riches story, but whatever happens in the end, it is the tale of a small group of people who have taken enormous risks against all odds to create something they truly believe can help people find their way home. 

(Story continued inside)

Marshall Zapp Luger's

SPRING LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORT

May 15 - 8 traffic violations - Cow in roadway - Locked keys in truck - Says wife looses too much in Bingo, shouldn’t come home - May 16 - Towing - 3 traffic violations - May 17 No Activity - May 18 - 1 traffic violation - aliens sighted - dead animal (Mayor out of town) May 19- Investigate burglary, was son , all forgiven- 2 traffic violations May 20 - Emus run amuck - DWI - DWI- DWI- DWI-May 21 - Cow in road - 7 traffic violations - May22 - Lost calf - children gone fishing, been three days - May 23 - Children back, caught a mess - DWI. DWI, 4 traffic violations. May 24 - Fight at dominos game, shut it down - Drove party home , 2 traffic violations - May 25 - no activity - May 26 - solve Houston drug trafficking case - May 27 - Testify - May 28 - Drive accused to prison - May 29 - DWI, 2 traffic violations May 30 - Pick up paroled prisoner sentenced on 27th - Cow in road, 3 traffic violations - June 1 - 15th vacation - June 16 - 7 violations, find evidence in OJ case, DWI - June 17 - Chickens loose, ducks loose, cow loose, chased by dog through square - apprehend -June 18 - 3 violations - suspect dumping salt water on roads , Owl after chickens - June 19 - Cow on road, 2 violations - June 20 - Says saw ghost of Old Joe on square with dogs- June 21 - dead animal (mayor in hospital) , 3 violations - June 22 - singing too loud at 3AM - tow vehicle - 2 violations. June 23 - Begin New World Order.

(Story continued inside)

Paradise Lost
Wandering Across America in Search of Eden
Paradise Lost

As I sat on my porch in my favorite rocking chair, an acorn banged off the tin roof. I jumped at the sound, then realizing, shook my head. After nine months of searching for the peace that had left, I remained unsettled and dissatisfied. Somehow the magic had slipped away from me. The angels, who had been sitting on my shoulder since I first moved to the tiny town of Round Top, had flown away. Or, at least, they were fluttering around somewhere behind my back... Story inside!

Taking the Long View   
A shimmering grey fog filled the canyon as Zachariah and I set out to climb the mountain. The air was cold - hardly above freezing - and I was dressed in flannel, mad bomber hat and mukluks. Had anyone been there to see, they would have assumed I was a crazed backwoods Canadian - most likely beset by terminal cabin fever - who had somehow wandered aimlessly South into the Sacramento Mountains of New Mexico. Story inside!