Welcome to the
Round Top Register,
the newspaper from
the biggest little town in Texas.


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TEXAS FUN
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DESIGN & BUILD
A COUNTRY
HOME

 AREA ANTIQUES
& CRAFTS
SHOW GUIDE

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

NEWS & FEATURES

ARTS

EDITORIAL

HUMOR

LITERARY
& POETRY

HOROSCOPE

AREA MAPS

AREA
ATTRACTIONS





Tiny Town Series

The Smallest Town in Texas

 A pretender appears, challenging Round Top's tradition-steeped claim to being the "Smallest incorporated town in Texas." Is it a cruel hoax or the bitter truth?

Sandy Texas - One Man Town

 Another pretender to Round Top's claim of "...smallest town in Texas," or something more?

Tiny Texas Town Secedes Another pretender to Round Top's claim of "...smallest town in Texas," or something more?

Impeached! It's a sad and tawdry tale of scandal and corruption. The President is impeached and removed from office! Read all about it in the Round Top Register.
Y2K Nightmare No power, no water, no food! Sandy, Texas fights for his life after the breakdown of civilization due to Y2K!


Santa Series

Round Top Threatened by Corporate Takeover Wall Street insiders claim Round Top next target for corporate raider, North Pole Enterprises CEO, S. Claus
Santa Battles Godzilla for Spirit of Christmas Top toy, entertainment and advertising executives riot on the town square.

Millennium in a Microcosm


The End Our psychic prognosticators predict the future in the new millennium!
Y2K Apocalypse When the computers break down, will it be the end of the world. We ask a few Round Top old timers.
Twentieth Century Man Born in a Round Top cotton field, he has made the best of his 97 years.
A Free Man 95-year-old Deacon James Dobbins teaches us about true freedom.


National News


The New York Times Print War For months now, the Round Top Register has been in a vicious print war with the legendary Big Apple print empire.
Register Exposes Media Conspiracy Plot bared to suppress global news! Network television, major newspapers, radio stations all named in investigation.
Little Miss Oil Well Beauty Contest The contestants giggle and clang
The Dumpman Cometh We interview Harold Bergmann, the man who works at the county dump, to find out how we can save the planet.


Money Pits and Fixer-Uppers


KINDLING - Adventures in Old House Restoration A remarkably good looking remodeling and restoration expert gives some sage advice
Emotional Architecture Looking inside yourself to discover the hidden secrets that make a house, a "home."
Recycled Architecture Using recycled materials to create unique spaces.


Wilderness Adventure
A Cry in the WIldernessHow the Round Top Register began its Canadian distribution...as Kindling
A Woman in the WIlderness How an Ordinary Texas Girl Conquered Canada
Mush for BrainsTrapped on a dogsled to Hell!


Life, Death, and Infinity

Death - Resurrection & Gone Fishin' The last three issues of the world-famous Round Top Register...or is it?
Born to be Wild In the last days of the millenium, a child is born into this crazy world.
All God's Creatures Read our interview with Sister Angela, the Abbess of the Monastery of St. Clare and find out how miniature horses fit into a life of prayer.
Almost Heaven! Near death experiences...fact or fiction? I bet you're dying to find out.
Paradise Lost! The Editor and the Queen wander across America seeking Eden.


Lifestyle Section

Diet Plan of the Stars Register Food Critic, Herve Raconteur, saves you from the slings and arrows of this undernourished and unneccessarily fit society.
Elegant White Water Bring true fashion to the outdoor experience with the queen of style.
The Net Junkie Primer Come on little net junkie...I know what you need.
Stardusting Sensible Household Astrological Advice from Madame Biola
Antiqualope Migration Approaches Area braces for thundering herd
Herb Majesty’s New Cloves Herb Daze At Festival Hill - Two Interviews with the Queens of Thyme

News From Round Top

Town Alderman Held Political Prisoner A local town councilman confesses to a variety of political crimes...including being a politician.
Visionary -- James Dick Interview The world renowned concert pianist and founder of the International Festival-Institute at Round Top speaks...
Girls of Round Top Ogle our cheesecake. Check out our hot mamas. View our bathing beauties.
The History of the Round Top Cafe From haven for a one-arm-bandits to "Best Country Cafe in Texas." It's been a long road.
Shakespeare Exposed! James B. Ayres, PHD, and founder of the Univerity of Texas' highly regarded Shakespeare at Windale program, TELLS ALL
Mayor's Office Ruled by Political Dynasty Forget the Kennedys, the Rockefellars, the Bushes...if you want to find out how to stay in office...ask a Nagel.
Harry Graeters' Round Top Outlaw Spurs Tattooed Man - Model T Becomes Biplane - Woman Sings To Moon - Horses Bolt - Buggies Overturn
Town Marshal Zapp Luger A series of reports about Round Top's legendary lawman.

Tales From Texas

For The People... An interview with hotshot criminal defense attorney Dick DeGuerin whose past clients include David Karesh, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, Lilla Paulus, Ramsey Muniz and more.
A Sharp Lookout On the run with Texas' top money man on the campaign trail to become the most powerful politician in Texas.
The Kings of Ice Cream An interview with the men behind the world's best ice cream, Blue Bell Creamery's Chairman Ed Kruse and President and CEO, Howard Kruse.
Mark Rose Meet the General Manager of the Lower Colorado River Authority. Check out the public/private sides of a guy with a river to keep clean, 800,000 people to please and a half a billion dollars burnin' a hole in his pocket.
Waltz Across Texas Meet George Koudelka, co-founder of the Round Top Brass Band and world's greatest expert on the Texas Polka recording industry. Find out about Whoopee John Wilfahrt, President Johnson's Inauguration and more!





Texas Fun Travel Guide If you're thinking about visiting South Central Texas, here's all you need to know. Restaurants, B & B's, events, attractions and more.
Antiques and Crafts Show Guide Shop 'til you drop in old Round Top's huge antiques and crafts events. But don't try to do it without a Guide.
Round Top Area Events Calender All you ever wanted to know about what's going on in heaven
Round Top City Officials Mayor Dave and his supporting cast
How To Get to the Center of the Universe (Map To Round Top)
History of Round Top The History of the Natural Universe
The Fourth of July Parade The Oldest West of the Mississippi
Bethlehem Lutheran Church The oldest active Lutheran house of worship in the state of Texas





Uncle Sack Talk Territory
Uncle Sack Hummingbird and Humdingers
Uncle Sack Mules... Plows & Marriage Vows
Uncle Sack Progress and Congress in Everbody's Bizness
Uncle Sack Artificial Intelligence
Uncle Sack The Texas Drought
Uncle Sack The Government - If it's Broke, Why Fix It?
Uncle Sack Uncle Sack falls through his computer monitor into Internet HELL!
Uncle Sack The Truth!
Uncle Sack The Flat Tire Method of Enlightenment
Uncle Sack Problems of Ownership
Uncle Sack Crime and Punishment
Uncle Sack Involuntary Cooperation
Uncle Sack Uncle Sack's Guide to Living in the New Millennium
Uncle Sack The Misunderstood Sport of Gossip
Uncle Sack The Responsible Citizen
Uncle Sack Hugs
Uncle Sack Makin' a Killin'
Uncle Sack Delicious Crimes
Uncle Sack The Flatulent Fiddler
Uncle Sack Eulogy for a Used Car Salesman
Uncle Sack Common Ground
Uncle Sack How Come I'm So Happy
The Weather Everyman’s Favorite Whipping Boy




The International Festival-Institute At Round Top A year round cultural center presenting an internationally famous Festival of classical music, home of the Texas Festival Orchestra. The campus features extensive herb gardens, trails, historic buildings, special collections and a 1200 seat air-conditioned Concert Hall.
Shakespeare at Winedale Celebrating its 25th year in 1995, this festival offers groundbreaking public performances of the plays of William Shakespeare each summer (July-August) and spring (last Friday and Saturday in April). The performances, recognized nationally as innovative theatre, occur in a restored log barn on the campus of the Winedale Historical Institute.
Winedale Historical Center This University of Texas cultural and historical center is dedicated to the perservation and interpretation of 19th century German Texas culture. The property, which holds many restored buildings, also serves as a conference center for seminars and educational symposia and as a site for arts and crafts festivals and performances of German and other folk music from early Texas.
Texas Pioneer Art Foundation Henkel Square is a museum village that serves as a center for the research and preservation of German Texas culture, its architecture and decorative arts. It also hosts the Round Top Arts Festival each year in November. The museum is open daily from 12:00 noon until 5:00 PM. Just off the town square, Henkle Square offers tours of restored pioneer German architecture and furnishings.
Round Top Arts Festival This annual event is held the 1st weekend of November at Henkel Square. It features 75 artists (many of these are local) in a variety of media as well as food and entertainment. Proceeds benefit Texas Pioneer Arts Foundation.(409) 249-3308



Children of the Sunrise A Novel with Hypertext -- The "friends" had come from nowhere and only the children could see them. Had they come to save mankind or destroy it? Follow Tom and Jessie Bowie as they fight to keep their family together in a world gone mad.
Deadspace Poetry WIlliam E. Becker - Richard Anderson - Christopher K. Travis I - Christopher K. Travis II - Christopher K. Travis III - Christopher K. Travis IV - Christopher K. Travis V




Round Top Register Advertising Hard Copy or digital...a bargain at any price!
Round Top Chamber of Commerce The Best little Merchants in Texas!
Round Top Restoration Home Builders and General Contractors specializing in historic restoration and the design and construction of new homes in historic styles. Okay, so the Editor owns the building company. So what?
Round Top Architects, L.L.C. Distinctive residential and commercial design services for those who appreciate the finer things in life.